As I looked in the casket and saw my cousin's long, beautiful hair curled to perfection and her body dressed in her pajamas she loved to wear, tears formed in my eyes and my heart ached and felt heavy. My almost 15-year old cousin, lived a life full of miracles and was a great example to fight no matter how much it hurts. I gave my Aunt Kristy a hug and told her of my love for her. "I have joined your club." I knew what "club" she was referring to. A club no mother would ever ask or want to be a part of. In this club I became a part of 11 years ago, my eyes have been opened to how easy it is for some parents to forget how lucky they are to have their child to hold in their arms as I yearn to do that again. I am sad that Aunt Kristy has to experience the constant hole she will always have in her heart as she misses her daughter every day for the rest of her life.
I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for allowing me to have my daughter in my arms for the time I was allowed to be with her. She has changed me and allowed me to feel a love I could have never felt in any other way. I am so excited to be with her again someday.
Shawn's birthday was yesterday and I hope he had the chance to celebrate with my cousin Heather. He loved and adored her and I know she felt the same way towards him.